Clever Title Here

Each day is a little easier.

21 days.

3 weeks today.

And my heart is beginning

To understand

What it really needs,

What it really feels,

What it really longs for.

This 40-day journey will continue

Well past its Sept 24th end-date.

Healing has no timeline.

But I’m finding this time has been

Necessary to regroup,

To let the air and the light in,

To heal.

And the healing hasn’t just been

From the last year or so of

What-ifs…

It’s been from a lifetime of

Why?

And Why-me?

And What’s wrong with me?

I’m learning to embrace me.

This sounds strange to me because

My heart was made to love others deeply.

I wasn’t made like you.

My heart beats in stanzas and

Is filled with enjambments.

My favorite color is every

Hue and changing glimmer

Of sunset.

I live to help and love

And encourage.

A good hug is pure comfort.

So to live unloved in a way

I had hoped to be loved

For years and years

Has been torture to a heart that

Lives to love and be loved.

But I haven’t been unloved.

Not really.

I have kids and family and friends

Who are amazing.

I’m a communicator.

But I’ve realized lately I’ve taken

Scraps of communication in the

Form of texts and “likes” and emojis.

Mere scraps.

Let’s have coffee and conversation.

Let me drink in your story

And share mine over crispy bacon

And creamy-sweet coffee and

A side of hugs and laughter.

Let’s take in a movie, then sunset.

Let’s do life.

Putting down my phone these past weeks has helped me to

Sleep better,

Communicate better,

Think, breathe, work, play,

Live better.

So my journey continues.

As does my healing.

I’m in a battle for a settled,

Well-balanced heart.

As I said in a blog a couple of days ago,

“They lied to us.”

Love is NOT a fairytale.

Love is the day-to-day choice

To be kind and love well

And abide – together –

No matter what.

I’m facing reality squarely.

I lean on your prayers

And I am always praying for you.

When I’m done,

Let’s do life – and friendship –

Better.

I love you.