Good morning. It’s day 6 of my quiet, social-media-free journey. It’s been nourishing for my soul.
Yesterday I slept almost all day because of a stomach virus. Truth is, I don’t feel much better physically today. But I’ve been way behind on getting any real rest – for months. So a day where I was forced to sleep helped me catch up.
I don’t feel like getting out of bed to get my journal and pens, so online journaling will have to do. The title of this blog is Get Rid of “Me” – here’s why:
For most of my adult life I’ve been a caretaker. I’ve been a single mom for 16 years. Every person I’ve dated post-divorce I’ve felt like I had to take care of in some way. I’m finding out that I unintentionally sought out people I could take care of so I wouldn’t have to think about my hurts, my fears, etc. In so doing, I helped many, but neglected myself.
So now I’m working hard at losing weight, being in the Word, finding out who God wants me to be. In short…taking care of myself.
Newsflash: neglecting myself was selfish.
It was selfish because when I don’t take care of myself, other people eventually have to. I want to live a long life and be part of my kids’ and future grandkids’ lives. I don’t want them to have to take care of me. I am finding out it is only when I take care of myself that I can take care of others in a healthy, balanced way.
So the title here reminds me that I need to get rid of the “me” who feels prideful and important when I take care of others before myself. I needed a motive check. A reality check.
In Mark 12, the Word says “Jesus answered, “The most important is Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is, Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these.”
Mark 12:29-31 CSB
If I neglect my soul, live with a broken heart, am out of my mind with worry, and have no strength physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, I cannot love the Lord well. I want to love him well. He is so worthy.
And the 2nd part of that verse hit me hard last night as I was studying this: love your neighbor as yourself. This implies that I love myself. It implies that I’m already taking care of myself. Already. Without hesitation. As a given. How can I “love well” if I don’t love myself well?
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about loving myself like this selfie-driven, me-first, all-for-one-and-that-one’s-me world says to.
I mean just basic self-care.
- Being in the Word daily
- Eating well
- Exercising regularly
- Sleeping well
- Living a balanced life
- Being intentional in real (not online-only) friendships
When I am done with this journey, there’s gonna be a whole lot less chatting and a whole lot more face-to-face. I’m so done with guessing what people mean when I just see their words on-screen instead of hearing their tone and seeing their facial expressions. So done.
With that, I’m going to try to get up and work as long as I can today.
And I’ll be “offline” social media wise (except for the occasional blog) til Sept 24th.
And then I’ll come back as a stronger, healthier “me”.
I’m always praying for you.
I always love you.