It’s increasingly difficult to be over 35 and dating. Swipe left? Swipe right? What IS this? We’ve been dumbed down to 1 second glances now?
Who’s your type? What’s your “sign”? What’s your idea of a good first date? Do you drink: Never, Often, or On Social Occasions?
Are these REALLY the first things we wanna know about each other?
Then, when you finally think…okay…eHarmony’s matching system says 100% on Exclusivity, Romance, AND Religious Values, and he sends you a smile and you’re past all the canned questions, and you finally get into a “message” session and his first real question is –
“Hey pretty, what are you wearing?”
You have GOT to be kidding me!
Honestly, girl, you’re worth more than that. You don’t fit anyone’s mold. Psalm 139 says you were fearfully and wonderfully made. And seriously – there is no category for brilliant-word-nerd-with-a-heart-that-won’t-stop-giving + a Jesus-lovin’-momma-who-has-survived projectile-vomiting–from-a-1-year-old-AND-middle-school-sass-all-before-8-am-on-the-same-morning.
There’s just not.
You just don’t belong in a swipe-left world, nor at the bar hoping you get picked before last call, nor in any Instagram chat session that starts out: “Hey pretty, I like to know you better, please do you have any naked selfies?”
You’re worth way more.
The truth is – I have no big plan to reveal here. No secret to all this. Nothing. I don’t know why some of my friends have gotten divorced and remarried two years later and I’m on year 15 of still looking. I just don’t get it. But here’s what I do know:
I know my worth. I know what I will and won’t tolerate, and you should too. You do this by discovering who you are. As a Christian, I found out what I believe about Jesus and I attach my identity to him.
Therefore I will not tolerate nor participate in this swipe right dating world. I belong to the Kingdom of Heaven. Not some dude’s selfish version of it.
I won’t subject myself to bad dates (ask me about the time I was on a date and started choking at the restaurant and my date pulled his water close to his chest and refused to let me have it, even as I turned red and tears streamed down my face from trying to catch a breath). Yep – I win on the worst date.
I’ve also had good dates that just didn’t work out. You’re looking for the one for you. There ARE great men out there.
I have no solutions other than to know your worth and wait for the one who treats you like you’re special. And don’t give up.
Just a note on narrowing down your choices: the one you ultimately choose is not just your head of household, he is also your children’s head of household. Moms, ask yourself before you date anyone: would I let my daughter date him?
I do have one request: Whether you’re married or single, if you know someone over 35 who is in this dating cycle – please stick close to them. Sisters – we need each other. Friday and Saturday nights are hard for all the single ladies. We need prayer. We need to have good, clean fun, and we need to support each other.
My challenge to my single sisters – uninstall that dating app and come to Karaoke with me on Saturday night or find some friends to hang with. Your heart will thank you for it.