Yesterday my son taught me yet another valuable lesson.
We were sitting quietly on a hill yesterday afternoon waiting for the fireworks to begin. Just the two of us. Out of the blue he said, “Mom, next time lets bring a football.” I’d been lost somewhere in my own thoughts and this brought me back to reality.
A football. Yes. Next time son.
Then I sat up and pointed to a group of boys his age tossing a football around. I encouraged him to join them. He hesitated at first, pondered the situation, then said, “Yeah – okay, I think I will.”
Anything athletic for him brings with it anxiety. He was born with a coordination disorder called Dyspraxia. It leaves him a beat behind the rest of the boys. But within the first five minutes of a guy showing him throwing techniques, he was throwing a spiral with the rest of them. I’ll admit to a Momma tear as I watched from my blanket on the hill. Okay, maybe two.
Today I recorded a radio interview with some good friends of mine. I was giving my testimony. I feel so much passion about speaking to single moms. But speaking to a broad audience brings me anxiety, whereas I’m better mentoring someone one-on-one. I tend to get my words mixed up. It’s odd how the thoughts in my head when I’m writing are crystal clear, fluid, and on point. But when I open my mouth to speak, I feel like I’ve got nothing to say that anyone would want to hear, and it casues me to second-guess every single word I say. It all just comes out wrong.
I came home from the radio interview a bit discouraged.
As we were making dinner, I asked my son what it was inside of him that gave him courage to go play with those boys yesterday. He said this:
“I just remembered that when I was in 1st grade it was fun to play. No one made fun of me. It was just fun. And I wanted to get into the game and have fun.”
So there you have it.
I just need to remember to do things in life for the fun of it.
My anxieties would lessen if I’d quit worrying about my precision with and my execution of things (speaking, working, pursuing my passions, etc.) and just start enjoying each moment. So what if I don’t throw a perfect spiral the first time. At least I’m enjoying the game.
Life is short. Have fun. Be present.